Found a solution to my problems. Many of my hubs/devices would not connect. My Logitech Circle would not save recordings or send me any notifications. All it allowed me to do is see a live view, and only when connected to wifi otherwise the whole Home goes unresponsive. This all happened after upgrading to iOS 15. Here is my solution:

Remove individual devices to reset them, reset appletv's, and then delete the entire Home. Then create a new home.

The "owner" of the Home needs to also be the primary iCloud+ subscriber, even if it's family shared and you are a "parent". Whoever is the icloud subscriber (which it'll say in icloud settings) needs to do everything from their phone. This is apparently new, because with iOS 14 I had created the Home from my device, while someone else in the family was the primary iCloud 2tb subscriber (which I didn't realize until now), without issue.

They need to be on latest ios 15, need to have Keychain and 2FA enabled on their appleid. Not sure if this is new, but I know no one in the family had keychain enabled. Apple documentation says to enable these things if you're the home owner, so I did.

Added family members and devices/hubs back to the Home making sure to do everything from the primary icloud subscriber's device.

Everything now works normally, except that my apple tv hubs are showing as unresponsive in the Home app. I tried 3 different tv's including the latest gen, different ios 15 versions, made sure they were setup with the icloud subscriber's/home owner's phone, same wifi, etc.. Nothing worked, again I never had this issue with ios 14. So I read you can use an iPad as the home hub. Luckily have an ipad air 2 that I put ios 15 on, signed into the primary icloud/home owner, and enabled "use as hub"

Now, finally, all of it works normally.